One night I had such a great idea for this post but forgot everything. It’s again about being ill and the purpose of it.
Illness, a clash between ego, bias, and things that should be done. Recently, I was cursed by swollen glands. However, this time I took it with me into daily life.
I had already have bought a ticket to my LR center but decided to stay home because of cold. I thought it will pass on Monday because I had to go to work (or at least that’s what I demanded myself to do) and to college. It got better but I barely slept because of throat pain. I truly believe I can cure it myself. During this time I could see through many of my behaviors. Self-reflection is a powerful and important tool.
As often, during such time of feeling bad and having ego weakened, I felt complete love and forgiveness to the entire universe and all the creation. I had amnesty for everyone. This happens when ego shield is thinner and the True Light can shine through. However, that happens rarely. During that event, I was also awed by all the philanthropists. I truly believed they are trying to do good and looking for their fulfillment in it. It led me to thoughts on how can I widely contribute to the world. I knew I don’t want some small everyday things. I desired something great, leaving a large footprint in this world.
Of course, it’s not exactly how I describe it. Success, wealth, fame – all the things which are only wanted by my ego, to feel better, to feel accepted, loved, desired. However, there’s a side-effect of this – one who has riches and power, not only is able to contribute to the world on large scale but also can build a stable life, for the body to exist and function and dropping the ego. When the right time comes, such person leaves business immediately and just lets everything go. Yes, I know, money and power are corruptive and tempting. That’s why I personally have Aurora – someone who can shout at me in times of need.
However, why not live a simple life? Keeping ego low but going to work on a daily basis. Of course, one can lead such life but work keeps ego living stronger than not having a job. In my honest opinion, it’s better to do a rapid phase-out of ego into the very low state rather than keeping in on a semi-low state for a long time not knowing if the time ever comes. Both versions are gambling but that’s life.
Inner Aurora 